Be Still and Know That I am God

The past couple of days have been a rough one. A friend says that it's easy to focus on the setbacks than the progress that James has made. 

We were told what was found on the head sono, and what the team says what James is missing. I won't go into details because even the medical team isn't sure what all these will do to James. They gave us several diagnoses for James but nobody know what the end result is going to be. Until then, I will not stuck to associate those diagnoses with James. He is perfect to us, and that is all. We have been praying more, praising God for every minute we get to spend with James, and asking Him to heal James. At times I feel like nothing has changed for the better. But then I went to Sunday mass.

"Be Still and Know That I am God" is part of the message of Lent. I had my AHA! moment when I heard those words. It is only since 2 days ago when I feel that I absolutely have to let God takes care of James and that whatever happens to James is in God's plan. I will not stop praying for James' health and praising Him for allowing me to witness His miracles.

Ryan and I were walking towards the exit door after mass when we saw a 1 year old boy wandering away from his parents. We both smiled when we see the little boy. I told myself that one day we'll be able to take James to church and that things will be ok. The Dad walked toward the little boy and called his name. To our surprise the little boy's name is James. So far I am liking God's own way to remind us that He is still taking care of us. 

We went to the hospital to see James after church. James is still struggling with his oxygenation. He was at 80% at 8 AM but down to 62% when we arrived at the hospital around 1:30 PM. He has lost some weight, from mid 900 grams to high 800 grams. We're hoping that his weight doesn't continue to dip. Maybe it's just because he had a huge BM.

James was doing sooo good when I changed his diaper. He wasn't kicking me, his saturation was good as well. He opened his eyes so wide and oh they're beautiful. He had a couple of big yawns too :) 

And then....

He smiled.

My heart melted. 

He smiled again.

I couldn't contain myself. I started calling his name louder and louder :)

*Ryan missed the whole thing. James was teasing his Dad. As soon as Ryan turned his back, he smiled. Awwww, maybe next time :)

Be Still and Know That I am God. So that's what I am going to do. I won't stop praying. I will keep going. I will keep going to witness God's amazing plan for James.

Thank you for all your support and prayer :)